23 Years and Still Clueless

I have been a mom now for 23 years. The only thing I can tell you from those years of experience is I still have no clue what I’m doing. No evidence to my cluelessness is greater then raising teenagers. My oldest is 7 and 10 years older then my younger two. You could say he was my test run and, if I do say so myself, I didn’t do to bad. He’s hard working, responsible and together with his wife raising a family of his own. For a mom, he was my “easy” child. He didn’t give me much trouble other then to sneak out to see a girlfriend. But he was a teenager by himself.

My younger two, while not getting into trouble, are only three years apart and raising two teenagers at once is probably the greatest challenge of my motherhood journey. This mix of wanting to be an adult and hormones has me tossed into the middle of a constant emotional hurricane on two sides. They play off each other, pick at each other, and continue to have me questioning the “boys are easier than girls” line I’ve heard over the years. Whoever came up with this has not met my boys with their emotional highs and lows.

After 23 years here’s what I’ve learned. While I’m still clueless about the “correct” way to parent, listening and communication is the greatest tools in my arsenal. Taking time to listen, whether I agree or not, and letting them know I’m hearing them has not only made them comfortable to come talk with me, but gives me time to have a response. Being honest and communicating from both sides has helped settle many debates even when my teenagers and or myself may not be completely happy with the outcome. At this age the time of “picking my battles” are few and far between and negotiations are in full effect.